aku ni anak jati malaysia tau, jangan main dengan aku, aku gangsta.

the other day, i was passing by a group of strangers who seem extremely strange in a professional way. Which basically means they're strange to the core.

Ok, this is why.

I was walking, of course, the usual me, wasting time as though I owned it. I passed by this strange group of people. (im just repeating now rite) So anyways, there were around 4 boys and 5 girls. The boys were like sprawled on the dirty floor, the girls, sprawled on the boys, as if there was no more space on the floor for humankind. So I stared, obviously, why wouldnt I, forgive me but I thought a mass murder just happened and the bodies were just left to rot there, until, only until I found out that they were still pretty much alive.

So this is wat I did.
The group of people were not moving. So I moved in a little closer, and was like "umm,should I be calling the ambulance or wat?". Then, starting to feel really worried, I moved in closer.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", the girl on this skinny guy's leg screamed.

I was like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" TOO of course, i mean wat the heck people, u just dont go screaming at people, especially when they're pondering on whether ur alive or not.

THe whole group sprung to life, and I clambered nervously. It was freaky. The boys were bald with this thin line of hair in the middle, which i suppose the barber forgot to nip off.The girls, were in those colourful tights with beautiful holes that only make one look so much more uglier. So I panicked, I mean what am I supposed to do people? It was like the modern version of the Adams family, except more freakier and less cartoony, duhh.

So obviously, when one panics, one doesnt often think well. I just straightened up my clothes and scarf, and said sorry repeatedly. They just stared at me, and for a second, i really thought they were not actual humans. Trauma people. I developed trauma that day.

So one of the girls shouted, loudly.

"Weyh, ko pahal, ko nak cari gaduh ke?"

And Im like, "nape nak cari gaduh pulak?"

And she was like "mana la aku tahu"

And I said "awak tak tahu, nape nak tanya pulak, eh pelik betul la ye"

And she just punched one of her friends and gave that finish-it-off-for-me look.

So the other girl came up right to my face and spat out "weyh, ko gile ke ha?"

And of course, thats kinda stupid to ask seeing the fact that I am really not crazy. I easily answered "Eh, takkan gile kot"

And she was just dumbfounded. She nudged her other friend, who gave her back an omg-i-cant-handle-this kinda look.

I smiled and said "Macam ni la, sorry sebab menganggu, tapi sebenarnya saya ingat korang tu tadi dah out of order, sebab nampak pun macam out of order, jadi itu la sebabnye saya diri dekat sikit, nak check betul ke tak out of order nye.Risau la jugak, sebab jarang jugak nampak budak bersepah macam ni kat tepi jalan kan"

Then a boy said "Eh ko ada masalah ke ha"

And Im like "Eh takde, kan saya baru je explain semua, takkan tak paham kot."

And hes like "Memang la aku paham, ko ingat aku bodoh tak paham bahasa melayu ke ha, aku ni anak jati malaysia tau, jangan main dengan aku, aku gangsta."

At that moment, it reached the pinnacle, that was just to funnny of a speech, i mean come on, anak jati, then gangsta? I laughed so loudly and really was out of breath.I bet if nisa heard it, we'd be both laughing our butts off.

So then they just stared at me, maybe I shouldnt have laughed so loud, cos maybe they'd really think I was crazy then kan. O well, watever, hu cares.

So I said "Maaf, agak kelakar la apa yang awak cakap tadi"

And the guy just butted in without introduction and said "Eh, jangan panggil aku awak okay, pangil aku abu gangsta. Aku la yang tergangsta, engko jangan nak main acilok dengan aku ok budak"

Ok, now, its just turning into a stand up comedy.

So quite hurt, I answered back "oi dengar sini ye abu gangsta, nama saya bukan budak okay, nama saya gangstarz. Lagi hebat, lagi dasyat, lagi menyengat."
Really I was just talking rubbish again. As usual. but this time, to so called scrawny looking gangstas who just left me gagging.

So he just stared at me and looked at the rest. And I left them no time for rebuttal." Umm, takpelah, sorry sebab menganggu, lain kali jangan la duk berselerak tepi jalan macam ni, susah orang nak lalu, pape pun, abu gangsta, u rock la bro, tapi u kena change ur style sikit, tukar imej kemas sikit, baru hensem, baru orang pandang tinggi sikit. Ni abu gangsta pakai macam ni, mana nak dapat hormat, saya pun ingat out of order tadi."

he quickly replied
'eh, betul ke hensem?" and turns around to his mates with a smile so bright.

"Betul la, dari pakai terkoyak sini, terpotong situ, baik pakai yang smart2. Kan?" I asked his other friends. They suprisingly nodded with a look of wierdness in their face.

"eH, babes, aku rasa betul la cakap minah ni, eh silap gangstarz ni, aku rasa kt tukar imej la, tak cun pun sbenarnya, kt gaya smart sikit.okay ke babes?"

"o a'ah la kan"

They turned to me. "Terima kasih sebab menegur, kalau tak, da lam ktorg terbiar kat sini. Memang takde matlamat hidup pun."

So I said "HAH,lepas ni, ramai2 la korang gi cari matlamat hidup masing2, baru cool, baru nampak cam hero. Ala, duduk macam ni tak bawa kt ke mana2 pun, no future, wat a waste u guys."

They all said "Betul betul. Papepun terima kasih la."

"No problem, were all Muslims, we're one, God created us to help each other."

They smiled( Im hoping they understood wat i just said), and said "ktorg nak gi mandi la, sbenarnya da 3 minggu tak mandi."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

lesson : always bath. never sleep on roads. always have a goal in life. Thank Allah, we're here because of him.

Lets say it together : Thank u Allah for al the blessings u give me, my family and my loved ones. Ameen.

and again. Always bathe regularly. Very important. Thank you.