Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
2.50pm, 17th January 2008- My grandma passed away...
"Alia, cepat siap. Tok Enda sakit tenat.", my mum told me when we were having lunch at home.
I blazed upstairs to change. What did I pick out? My black aybayyah and black tudung. Why the colour for mourning? I didnt know why I just picked up that outfit. 5 minutes later,
"Alia, Tok Enda dah meninggal dunia...", my mum whispered in hushed tones.
What did I feel? NUMBNESS.
My beloved grandma had passed away to return to her Most Loved. Sadness overwhelmed me as we rode to the hospital. My mum making calls to inform her friends and relatives. Me, speechless.
When I arrived at the hospital, my grandma laid there lifeless, with the repiratory machine making her seem alive as her chest rose up and down. For a moment, I thought she was still there, until the doctor said, "Sorry, Its just the machine."
Her heart rate: ----------
Her blood pressure: -----------
Her oxygen uptake: ------------
Her mouth was open, blood oozing out. The respiratory tube that had been forced into her mouth for weeks made her bleed and her lips extremely dry. Her head had marks where tapes had been sticked on, tapes that held tubes going into her nose and mouth. Her blood was smeared all over the bed, lots of syringes and needles messing up her anatomy. She just laid there. Silent. Cold. She was gone....
How am I ever gonna stop my eyes from swelling up? However was I gonna be strong. Writing this post itself is making me weep and my hands shake.
I loved her. But now she was gone.
She used to take care of me. She used to feed me. Her small hands used to comfort me. Her shoulder was there to stop me from crying. Now they're no more there.. O Allah, help me be strong, for this is another big test Im going through....
The nurses cleaned and removed all the wires attached to her body. Then she was taken to the room where she was to be bathed. I bathed her. I couldnt take it. She was so ill. She had marks everywhere. A straight red line down her chest because of the bypass, and another from her thigh to her ankle because of biopsy. Her back had bedsore, due to the fact that she had been on the bed for a month. It was sore. Really sore.
I washed her. Her face, her hands, her legs. Her back. Her beautiful smile was still there, but her beautiful laugh was not heard. She was puffed up due to excessive amounts of drugs.
Then we wrapped her with white cloth. We covered her head. She was wearing the symbol of piety. The unsown cloth that looked like a scarf. She looked sweet. She looked at peace.
We prayed solat jenazah before bringing her back home. Once at home, her friends and many relatives came. A sign of love. A sign of brotherhood. A sign that only Islam can provide.
The saddest part came when none of us could kiss her for the last time. Her mouth was bleeding and so the cotton that covered her face stuck to it and we weren't allowed to open it. After another round of solat jenazah, she was lifted up into the van and brought to her grave at Jalan Ampang.
On her way there, I passed the buildings that I always passed everytime I visited her. Now, she would see no more of them. They were now nothing. Nothing compared to what she has to go through after this in alam barzakh.
The cemetry faced the tall KLCC and the leisure hubs that surround it. People were laughing. People were socializing. People were lost in this world. And here, someone had just passed away, symbolising that life ends and that life with Allah is the eternal life. Suddenly, KLCC seemed worthless. KLCC didnt stand as tall as it stands. Because I realised how great Allah is and how small KLCC is in HIS eyes. Maybe even micro. People were forgetting him everytime they step into these leisure hubs. And its not worth anything. I feel now that life is nothing but a temporary visit. A visit for us to collect as much points so that we can be beside HIM for eternity. A visit where modern technology and entertainment are not at all necessary. A visit where living up to the trend is not at all important. Whats the point in going astray when you know for sure that death awaits you?
O Allah, I thank you for another beautiful reminder that you have sent to me. For verily I have gone astray from you for so long. O Allah, make me hate what YOU hate, and make me LOVE only the things that YOU love. O ALLAH, tonight I have seen how great YOU are, and I have seen how ad-dunia is nothing compared to what YOU have promised me, my brothers and sisters, Al-Jannah. Lead us there O ALLAH, and if the world ever brings us away from you, please bring us back to our religion, so that every minute on this Earth is for Islam and YOU O Allah..
As we lowered my grandma into the hole, and covered it up. It gave me another reminder. You were born into this world because of Allah, and to HIM you shall return. Now I pray that my grandma will be placed amongst those HE loves and that she will be waiting for me and the rest of my family members in Al-Jannah. Insha Allah. She has worshiped Allah. She had devoted herself to Him. She had loved HIM like she loved no other. O Allah, I witness that my grandma has done her best in practising Islam and following the Sunnah. She has carried out her job as a mother and grandmother very well. Always reminding us about YOU, and always reminding us about our Prophet. O Allah, her doings have been sincere. Please make every suffering she went through, a step towards removing her sins O Allah. Verily you are Most Loving, Most Forgiving towards your servants.
She will continue to stay in my heart. My memories with her forever embedded in my thoughts. She will be my voice, my thoughts, and what she always said, "Never forget your Lord." will stay with me forever.
She lived a full and successful life. I should too. She lived because of HIM. I should too....
Mengiringi dukaku yang kehilangan dirimu,
Sungguh ku tak mampu tuk meredam kepedihan hatiku,
Untuk merelakan kepergianmu.
Ingin kuyakini cinta takkan berakhir,
Namun takdir menuliskan kita harus berakhir...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Problems, tests, stress, tension.
People hate them, but yet it surrounds us. We can't run away from any of it. We own the problem. Therefore, we are responsible in making them stepping stones, to make us much more mature and tolerant individuals.
I have had a big share of problems in my life so far. And I guess there's gonna be more. No not I guess actually, its more like, there's gonna be more problems FOR SURE. Everytime things seem to go good and well, BOOM, a problem comes crashing down on me. And yes, I suffocate. I cry. I feel helpless. I tell myself so many times, "Why? Why me?". The problem is, how ever many times I chant that, it doesnt get any better.
God promised that he would not burden a soul more than they can bear. Therefore, it literally means that every problem I have, I can bear. Its just new different problems that scare and make me feel that it cant be solved, and that life is nothing but a mess.
There have been some problems in my life that I couldnt go through. It was intense. It hurt. I turned to Him. I cried in my silent bows to him. My heart felt the pain. O Allah, I am too weak to handle something I should be able to bear. I can't do anything without your help. Please help me. I love everything you have destined for me. I love my life plan that you planned for me. However, my weakness has taken control of my thinking. I need you O Allah, at all times. I have strayed so far from you, but yet you love your servants however bad they have treated you. It makes me cry everytime I think of the times my devilish self turned to other things for help. Music, poetry, stories. With people, I feel the comfort. But yet, from all of them, I have found no answer. It is then that I realise, you have the answers. All of them. Everything everyone doesnt know. O Allah, please never leave me. I love you too much. More than my words can express. More than my actions can show. Only you know best. O Allah, I cannot afford to lose your love, your help, your watchful eyes on me.
Peace. Peace at heart. Nothing should be a problem. Life is short, too short for us to waste. Too short for us to press the stop button on the lifeplayer, just so we can rewind and contemplate on the past. We should keep the mode at play, whatever happens, happens. And no matter what happens, we always have Gods promise at the start of our movie.
Monday, January 14, 2008
" OK. NEXT!!!"
Nisa, Alia and Aidid looked at each other and sayed their prayers. And God, did they say them real loud. They were next in the casts audition.They were gonna go for a mission impossible task!
They started their act like this.
"Nisa, ada orang tak kat dalam tu?", said Aidid.
"Ada!!Pak Hasni tengah meeting!!", Nisa answered.
"Alamak, macam mana ni? How are we ever gonna get past him?" Alia said.
So they went the other way. The longer way. Instead of entering through the door facing the conference room, they went thru the way that passed the teacher's toilets and the main office. Then, they crawled!!
"Eh, mana Fattah?", asked Nisa.
"Tuu!!!Dia lari!!", Aidid whispered.
Fattah was meant to be in this audition as well, but I guess he backed out. Poor him. Missed out on all the superb fun!
"K, k everyone cepat!!" Alia said.
They rushed into the small room that had the reuter. You wanna know why? Well, because they were good students and needed to use the computers for revision that night, but then found out that the internet was out. Ustaz Zul without realising, gave them an essential clue.
"Well, normally, if the whole internet system fails, you just have to restart the reuter." He told us in class.
"Kat skolah ada reuter ke ustaz?" Alia asked innocently.
"Ada.", he answered.
"Kat mana?", Nisa asked.
"Kat bilik sbelah Kak Aishah punya desk.", he answered.
That was all we needed to know. And now, we're actually in the room with the reuter. Except, we cant find it. Why?? Because it was absolutely dark!! Yup, Alia, Nisa and Aidid were in a dark room together. Not good considering the fact that the principal is just centimetres away and that theyre students of an Islamic school that carries the name of a heaven. Seriously not good. And to add to all of that... Alia's slippers were rite outside the room, and facing the room too. OMG!!
Then creeek.... The door where Pak Hasni was having his meeting opened. We stopped breathing, i think even our hearts stopped beating.
We sayed our prayers again and again. The head prefect and two other prefects were in the same room, the room where "no entry" is pasted right across the door. Then we heard footsteps leaving the hall. The outside lights were switched off.
Hooooh!! Saved we were!
Then we started rummaging thru all the boxes and papers that were in the room. Where's the reuter? Where is it!!!!!!!!! Then after thorough search, we found it behind the computer.
"Ok, ok, remember what Ustaz Zul said. Just switch it off and then on again.", we reminded each other.
The lights on the reuter went off, and then on again.
Pheww!! wE did it!!!!!!
So we went out as quietly as possible, and only our stammering heartbeats could be heard. It was G.I.L.A. stuff!!
Then we went up, blamed Fattah because of his cowardly act, and started the computers. We smiled. THE INTERNET WAS WORKING. Mission completed....
"CUT!!!!!!That was awesome!! Where'd you learn all that acting skills from?", the guy who auditioned us asked.
"Well, thats secret", we answered simultaneously.
Then out of nowhere, TOM CRUISE entered with a huge smile. Shook hands with Aidid, and not Alia and Nisa. Obviously because they were girls. Then he said.
"Welcome to the Mission Impossible cast. You did well and deserve a spot in the film. Congratulations"
WUHOOO!! We made it!!!
PS: This is true story here. Please dont tell the school management about this. Eventhough they cant do anything about it anymore, we'd still like to remain in good terms with our school. Thanks for your cooperation. We appreciate it. If we ever found out you told them, then you're gonna get it from us. After all, you never know what we'll do to you, seeing as we're so good at this mission impossible stuff. Watch out ppl! hohohohooo
Saturday, January 12, 2008
I have seen so many people presenting in front of crowds. I have seen so many people giving speeches. I have done it a few times myself.
What do I feel? I have to admit, scared to my deathbed!!
But how come he or she looks so calm. Theyre not even shaking! Not even sweating! That is so unfair.
The other day, we had to present some facts in class. I started panicking of course. My ears were hot. My cheeks could make water boil. I looked at the rest. They were so relaxed. What happened to P.A.N.I.C people?
So one by one, we were called out. The first person who was called out was the most relaxed. But, when he stood in front, the paper fell out from his hand, because it couldnt stand being shaken so badly. The guy was trembling I tell you. Boohoo. So much for SuperRelaxman.
The next girl was babbling, stuttering and was talking nonsense. She was just blah, blah, blah non stop. Earplugs! I need earplugs!! Quick!!!
The next girl virtually ate all her words. She was not heard. Perhaps the girl who went before her stole her voice. No wonder she was loud. She was like ummm,umm,umm,umm,umm. Thats all.
The next boy, moved his hands a lot. Even Karam Singh something (dont really know his full name) just had one move. He, he was pointing upwards, downwards, right, left. Everywhere!! His hands were flying! swiish swoosh!
The next boy just stared at us. It was soo scary. He looked like he was going to faint. He was breathing rapidly. I guess the teacher noticed. So for fear of any unwanted incidents, she kindly asked him to sit down. Thank God.
The next girl, talked so calmly, so smoothly, no stutters. She nailed it! I felt like giving her a standing ovation! She was GOOD!
RRRRIIINNNNNNGGGGG!! End of class. Thank god I didnt have to present today. But I have to for the next class. I rushed to the girl, and forced her to give me tips. I always believe in "learning from the wiser", if that makes any sense.
The girl just said, " Well why should I be scared. Its just talking. Its something we do everyday rite?."
I was flabbergasted. My jaw literally touched the floor. Is that it? Is that what she thinks its all about? That's totally nuts!
So not satisfied with the answer, I asked her again. Umm, sorry, but u saw all the drama that happened just now, I dont think they'd accept that answer. I mean one of them nearly fainted for heavens sake.
Her answer, "Well, I dont think about it too much, I just do it because its my duty to present my work, and I feel that by sharing knowledgeble stuff, it benefits all of us. So when I think of it in that way, I say to myself, why the need to be so scared and feel such panic? I normally take in deep breaths before I start, and then when I'm in front, I own the stage. They're just people in the end. No need to be so scared of rite?"
Great answer. Its so true. Why the need to panic? We are supposed to share knowledge. When we present, or give a speech, we are basically sharing our thoughts and views. We should feel honoured when chosen to do such things. We're giving something back to society. Sounds so huge, but it really is so true.
Our prophet peace be upon him used to give speeches to massive crowds. Never was he scared. He conveyed his message in the most clearest way. If he stuttered or ate his words, do u think his teachings could have been passed on to many future generations. I dont think so. He was a man of wisdom. A man of words. He didnt panic. It wasnt necessary. It isnt necessary actually.
So from now on, Im gonna try to be as coonfident as I can. Its gonna take buckets of courage and guts, but with strong will, I will get over my fear. I will speak with full confidence. I will not let myself be laughed at for no reason. I shall follow the prophet. He was so calm. I too must be calm.
I know it sounds so hard. Many people have stage fright. But once we tell ourselves to not be so nervous, we wont be. Our mind is so powerful. U talk to it, it will follow u. U say " Hey, Im so scared and nervous", ur mind will do the exact thing u said. But if u say " Hey, Im so confident, Im gonna breeze through this whole thing well, and Im gonna present what im supposed to present". Well, people, ur gonna knock the audience down real hard.
Try it. For your own good. Goodbye my fears. Bring on the speech!!Yea yeah!!
I had to go through Thinking Skills for my A-levels. The questions hurt my head real bad. I nearly had extremely high intercranial pressure. Very painful. So anyways, I guess brothers and sisters are one. When one is happy, the others are happy, when one is at pain, the others feel it too. So I guess its only fair if u feel my pain. So feel it people. HOhohohoooo...
OH yeah, you need to have a pencil and paper. In my case, I needed the whole pack of examination pad. If you do it in your head, ur just inviting unnecessary migraine. Trust me, real killer migraines. No joke.
1. George’s journey home from work involves travelling by underground railway to Euston Station and then by overground train. It takes him 5 minutes to change platforms on arriving at Euston.
Overground trains leave Euston at 20-minute intervals and the train journey takes 8 minutes. His house is a five-minute walk from his local station. If he arrives at Euston at 4.15pm he gets home at 4.50pm.
2. Ben hires a motor van to help his friend move house. He knows that the round trip is 350 km and the van hire company tells him that the van does 100 km per $10.00 worth of diesel fuel (the diesel costs 70 cents per litre). He asks them to put $36.00 worth of diesel into the van. However, the pump is faulty and actually puts in 51 litres of fuel for every 50 litres shown on the pump. On the return journey he encounters a fallen tree across the road and has to make a detour. There are no filling stations on the remainder of his journey, but he decides to get as near to his destination as he can.
What is the maximum distance the detour could have added to his journey if he still manages to
make it back?
B 10 km
C 17.2 km
D 72 km
E 82 km
(o My God rite?)
(KLCS) and Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA), 64 kms away.
Which of the following pieces of information is not required in order to calculate the minimum
number of trains needed to operate the service each day?
A) The first train leaves KLCS at 5.30am and the first train leaves KLIA at 6am.
B )The journey between KLCS and KLIA (and vice versa) takes 28 minutes.
C )On arrival at its destination each train stands for ten minutes before commencing its return journey.
D) In peak hours (5.30am to 10.30am and 4.00pm to midnight, when the service terminates) trains run every 15 minutes.
E) During off-peak hours (10.30am to 4.00pm) the trains run every 20 minutes.
4. A designer is commissioned to produce a carton which will hold at least 1 litre (1000 cm3) of
liquid. The carton must have a square base, be twice as tall as it is wide, and all dimensions must
be a whole number of centimetres.
5. A man is given two ways of investing $100. The first option will increase the investment by $20 every year (after one year $120, after two years $140, after three years $160 etc…). The second option will increase the investment by $30 the first year, and then by $29 and so on, by $1 less each year (after one year $130, after two years $159, after three years $177 etc.).
For how long would the man have to invest his money in order for the first scheme to be more
profitable than the second?
A 15 years
B 20 years
C 22 years
D 25 years
E 30 years
6. Harry visits his mother every Sunday. He catches a train from Newtown Station to Oldtown
Station which is a 10-minute bus ride from his mother’s house. There are two trains an hour. One is a stopping train taking 35 minutes and the other is a direct train taking 20 minutes. Both buses and trains run half-hourly. He finds that whichever train he catches, his journey time from catching the train to arriving at his mother's (including any wait for the bus) is always 55 minutes.
B) Buses leave Oldtown 15 minutes after trains leave Newtown.
C )The direct train arrives at Oldtown 20 minutes before a bus leaves and the slow train 5 minutes before a bus leaves.
D) If he catches the fast train, he just misses a bus at Oldtown.
E)Trains leave Newtown 20 minutes before buses leave Oldtown.
7. A three-dimensional shape is made by taking a cube and cutting off each of its corners. Assume
that the cube is large and that the cuts are relatively small (extending to less than halfway along
How many edges does the new shape have?
8. Genetic discrimination is likely to become a real problem as more people undergo genetic tests. Children may taunt each other in the playground on the basis of genetic differences, and adults continue such behaviour in the workplace. People are likely to be denied appropriate life
insurance, health care insurance and possibly even employment if they have a gene which
predisposes them to particular illnesses. For example, an American woman with a gene which
makes her more likely to develop breast cancer, has been denied cover for all forms of cancer.
After hearing the above argument, a student summarised the conclusion as follows:
'We need new laws to deal with genetic discrimination.'
Has the student:
A) expressed the conclusion fairly and accurately?
B) expressed the conclusion too strongly?
C) not expressed the conclusion strongly enough?
D) drawn a further conclusion?
E) identified the wrong part of the argument as the conclusion?
9. A group of 5 men are able to load a pile of 90 logs onto a truck in 15 minutes.
How long would it take 3 men to load 120 logs, if they load them at the same rate (answer to the
A 12 minutes
B 18 minutes
C 33 minutes
D 35 minutes
E 42 minutes
10. Bess and Charlie start picking peas at 8 am and finish at 8 pm and take the same lunch
Bess picks peas at the rate of 25 kg per hour while Charlie only achieves 20 kg per hour.
Which one of the following would be sufficient to determine the length of their lunch break?
A) The difference in total weight of peas picked before and after lunch.
B) The difference in weight of the peas picked in the whole day by Bess and in the whole day by Charlie.
C) The starting time of the lunch break and the weight of peas picked by Bess before lunch.
D) The sum of the weights of peas picked by Bess before lunch and by Charlie after lunch.
E) The total weight of peas picked before the lunch break.
11. Wesley and Eamonn live 5 kilometres from each other, both on the main road that runs through
Longtown. They both left home at 11.05 this morning in order to meet each other at Longtown
Library, 2 kilometres from Wesley's home. They both walked at the same pace throughout, and at the same pace as each other. Wesley spent 4 minutes in a shop on the way, but still arrived at
the Library 7 minutes before Eamonn.
12. Photographs of pupils are taken and offered for sale in various packages:
3 large and 2 small: $9
4 large and 2 small: $11
These prices include the same amount for post and packaging.
What is the cost of postage and packing included in these prices?