my daffodils during winter, my fudgy brownies during summer....

-Alia.Nisa.Tira.Maya.Mary-

It started in the year 2005, ended, never. 5 names that make a pentagon, a pentagon.Makes sense I hope, because I never really do make sense at times.Huuu..They were my daffodils during winter, my fudgy brownies during summer. The 5 of us used to cause havoc in that blue top building. Every morning, it became like a routine for us to sneak out of class, strut the hallway looking as innocent as possible, and as soon as we hit the door near the library, "ACTION!" Nisa wud be looking to the left, me to the right, tira to the front, mary to the back and maya to the top. Actually until this very moment, I havent quite figured out y she always looked upwards. Well, at least she was taking precautions rite? Any teacher could jump out from nowhere. So with our hands out like we were carrying M-16s, slowly one by one we ordered...KARPEEPS! (karipap for normal sane ppl)

Mmm,Mmm, D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S!



Now the next act, Scene 2 Part 1.

How do we escape with these miraculous creations without being found guilty of ummmm, smuggling foreign nice smelling objects?? The answer people, is by walking two by threes. The first two, without the karpeeps, will walk as slowly as possible, checking every corner making sure there are no teachers. After making 100% sure that the situation is clear and safe enough, the next three would come, with the one in the middle holding the karpeeps. The journey back to the class is terrifying! Its like ur life is on stake. Either ur safe, or ur caught. So it really starts our hearts pumping fast. Yup, and this is every morning we're talking about. So when we reach our pink present-like class, we sit at our seats as if absolutely nothing happened. Then me, being the one that sits near the door with the huge window (the teachers put windows on doors i think because of this!) would check out constantly, just incase Puan Akmal didnt jump out of nowhere. So then the one with karpeeps would say, "Karpeeps anyone?" and we all literally dive under the tables, scoff the whole piece down and sit up again like nothing happened. I tell u, we ARE PROS at this! Except the occasional times when Pn Akmal or some other teacher would stare us down after the dives under the table, and question us, and say "dont do that again girls, its against the school rules, you have to set an example for the juniors, especially the both of u prefects, Alia and Nisa." . Yup, we always listen and of course, do it again. Hey,cant blame us, we just love the excitement and the attention of our teachers.

So thats the part where we try to get and eat food. Then during hafazan class, me and Tira would literally start memorising the five lines we were supposed to memorise yesterday. And we would always fail at doing so. Everytime Ust Shamsul Bahri said " Ok Alia, Tira, nak baca?", we would give our sweetest smile and say, "kejap Ustaz". Of course again, we never did read the five lines to him. Maybe tomorrow.

After hafazan, nisa would join us from upstairs, and the first subject teacher will enter. We look at each other and simultaneously say, "did u do the homework?", one would say, " I couldnt, had too much other stuff to do", the other, "i didnt know there was homework", the other,"omg, i totally forgot!". So we say our prayers, hoping the teacher forgot, and then start thinking again of reasonable excuses the moment she says " so did u guys finish ur homework?". Of course being good girls we are, we didnt always not finish our homework.Occasionally only. Never was it a routine.

Then the next class is teacher Muthla's class. We L.O.V.E her! She is a bundle of fun. She understands us, always giving cool advices. And she makes us understand the subjects real well. We could drink, dine, whine, chat, laugh, and even sleep. Yes sleep. According to Teacher Muthla, when one sleeps, they absorb the most. The person is at alpha stage, the best stage. Didnt I tell u how great she was! She has an explanation for everything. Good good...

The next class, Ustaz Zul.Wuhoo! That man is full of wise words. An example " to err is human, to forgive divine". The whole class would be chanting the words, and of course copy his accent in the same time. He is so enthusiased, and alert. He would translate everything he said into English just for Maryam. So sweet of him. In the lab, he would be talking the whole time, not stopping once, and us, being teenagers,( yup, thats the only excuse we have ) would start opening different websites that have nothing to do with IT, and hear nothing he says. Poor Ustaz, we love him alot. And to prove that we love him, everytime he stopped talking and says "did u hear what i said" or " do you understand?" we would all say "YES WE DO!!". Sometimes though, when we were too absorbed with what we were doing, and didnt say "YES, WE DO!!", he would repeat everything he said AGAIN, hoping that everyone will hear it the next time. We groan.

He cares about his students. Its a good thing.

Next, Chemistry class, Teacher Mimi. She is so cute and adorable, and sensitive too. She was our Secondary 5 class teacher. She bought us this cute cake just before our English exams. Very sweet. So caring. We love her tonnes.

Teacher Mimi always made sure we understood the laws of Chemistry. Sometimes she'd get really upset or angry if we got in trouble with the school management (which we always did), or didnt do our homework. We would all be really out of mood after seeing her like that. So we learnt our lesson, and finished our homeworks, unfortunately, we could never stay away from trouble with the school, so we had to finish homework.

There was once, when we went to the mamak stall to get some drinks, we saw this tortoise in the drain. All five us stopped, shrieked at each other, and said, "we've got to get that creature!". So with the help of abang canteen, we scooped that tortoise up, (now the part where we tried to scoop the toroise was real drama I tell you!), and brought him to our class in a big yellow tray. The boys were as excited as we were, and soon we were making up names for him. We settled with Bayhaqi, the class tortoise. Soon news spread, and the whole school came and looked at him. Of course, Pn Zaiton found out and ordered us to get him out, because students were starting to ask whether they could bring in animals or not. O the students of Adni, always following us, seeing as we were the trendsetters of the school. So we moved him out into the small pond outside. So sad we were. A word to Bayhaqi, we love you wherever you are!

After Bayhaqi, we bought hamsters! We had a little blue cage, and we played with them all the time. During Teacher Muthla's class, they would be all over the place. Sometimes they would be rolling around in the hamster ball we bought them. So cute! But word again spread, and we had to bring them out of school. First I took care of them, then Tira, then Nisa. Again, so sad we were.

When exams were coming near, we all panicked, and studied together. We had our share of fun too. We helped each other and asked alot of questions. The boys would help too. Such good teamwork we had. The teachers would constantly ask if we had any areas we were weak at and always dedicated their time towards teaching us. Nearing the end, we slept at school and studied until 3 am. Sometimes not sleeping at all. We were all in it together, it was so special.

During exams, it would be gud luck here and gud luck there. We entered together, went out together, bombarded each other with questions like " What was ur answer for question 3?", and when each others answers were different, we would scream and say " lets not discuss!!". Then 2 mintues later someone asks again " What was ur answer for question 2?" and the whole scenario started again.

There are loads more I can write about these special people in my life, but hey I will write more when I have time. No words can explain how much I treasure their friendships. They were there through everything. Its so sad that neither of us could further our studies in the same place together, and so we have parted ways. But the memories we had were priceless, and can never be replaced.

I love these people to bits, and always will, for they truly were, my life buddies! I quote Whitney Houston's song,

"If tomorrow is judgement day. And I'm standin' on the front line.
And the Lord ask me what I did with my life. I will say I spent it with you.

Cause your love is my love, and my love is your love. It would take an eternity to break us, And the chains of Amistad couldn't hold us"

Where should i be buried?

5.4.3.2.1. Exam!!!!!!!!!

Countdown starts as soon as ur heart beats faster when u think about exams. The thought of exams just makes u want to puke. The problem is, why do we get so tensed up about it? Isnt it supposed to be just a small thing that'll be over in 2 hours?

Umm, i dont think so!

I know the feeling when ur just about to enter the exam room. Suddenly, u need the toilet even when ur bladder is basically zero in content. Ur stomach starts rumbling, ur heart starts making fast lub-dubs, and ur hands start to shake. On the front paper, u even fuss about if uve spelt ur name properly! I started checking my name like 5 times, making sure every letter was present, just incase i would end up not getting my paper just because i missed an A in Alia, and some guy named Ali would be getting my paper instead. Then i flip the pages, counting it slowly, and when it counts to thirteen, im like, "o my god, the examination board is so cruel, evil-spirited, and ruthless! How can they ever do this to me? How am I supposed to finish all that?" But nevertheless,I pick up my pen, read the first question, put down the pen again, and sigh, "umm..wat was that all about?", then i read the next question, and say "umm, never learnt that before, so cant say i can answer that". And when i finish reading all the questions till page 13, I think to myself "Where should i be buried?, Shah Alam or Ampang?"

I thought i had finished revising the whole Bio book. Thought I had memorised all the important facts. Hang on, ok, maybe i skipped the small bit about plants, just a small bit, hey, cant say i like plants all that well to indulge in their evolution and wonder how the sugar travels from leaf to root. Maybe thats why i cant do the exam! Because i missed out the plants section, but then again, thats not really why. Maybe its because I was learning, but wasnt focusing enough. Maybe its because of the wrong things Ive done to my parents, brothers, and people. Maybe its because i called my cat fat. (Ok, that was abit extreme)

As i sit down and ponder, where and what my mistakes were, I realised that it was because I didnt ask and plea to God enough. I guess thats really it. I endulged in Bio so much that I forgot my Lord. The other main reason was, umm, i was lazy? I thought i did enough, but actually, i didnt. I thought I read the book way too much, when in fact, I was looking at the cover with the DNA molecule in the front, pondering why it was green and not blue more than i read about the DNA molecule itself. Ok, so now I know where Ive gone wrong. I need to be closer to God, and simply not be lazy. I need to stay focused, understand and reflect what I read, and not fuss so much about things that dont matter. My job as a student is to study. Its not that hard. I just have to read and understand. That's it.

So now when my minds all set and geared up, I actually enjoy learning. I enjoy finding out. Im happy when i know why this and that happens. I enjoy explaining what i know to people. Besides the part where i get happy when people say, "really?i didnt know that.ur so clever!", I basically just feel good. I love studying. I love exams. From now on, Im gonna make sure that i make my knife very sharp(the knife meaning my revision), so that i can kill the exam papers real well. When the knife's not sharp, how can i ever kill the paper rite? So that's what I'll start doing from now. Anyone care to join me on this knife sharping journey? Lets go for it! Lets kill the paper!!!!!!

Does my right eye look smaller?!!

Love. Simple four letter word. A lot of meaning. A lot of heartbreaks. A lot of emotional stuff going on around those four letters. I've fell in love. The feeling that you have every morning before you wake up. You ask urself so many dumb questions like "is he gonna be there?" or "o my god, ring the alarms!!what should i wear?" or even "does my left eye look bigger than my right eye? how am i ever gonna face him????!!" . While u curse ur right eye for being a little bit smaller than the left one, putting excessive pieces of cucumber on ur right eye, the person ur so frantic and crazy about, just woke up, and said "dang, im gonna meet "ME" today !BORING!!"

So then u meet him, all dressed up, sprayed with the most expensive perfume, and being scared u stink, sprayed the whole bottle until nearly the other village can smell u. He's so cool, walking with his arms in his pocket, and u, ur floating! Why is it always like that? Why cant ur body be faithful to u when u meet him. I mean my hearts beats like my body needs extra oxygen, which it does actually, u start panting like u just ran a marathon, u have butterflies in ur stomach, and ur palms are sweaty.

So then u try to say hi in the sweetest most innocent way, but it ends up sounding like u got a bad sorethroat and want Strepsils. I hate it. I mean aren't u supposed to love because love is beautiful and makes u happy? but instead, u end up being so conscious about everything, u hardly noticed u had an egg sandwich for lunch. Why? because u didnt! U told him u were apparently on this "low salt, low fat, low carbs, and low everything" diet.

What really bugs me, is the fact that u waste all ur time and effort on someone who doesnt care a hoot about u! not even a toot too! Theres only really a one in thirty chances that that guys totally nuts about u. The rest of the guys, kapeesh, useless! So i felt what it was like liking this one guy for nearly 2 years. I went through the whole scenario, put my hopes up higher than the ozone layer, then BANG, it dropped down so, so hard. Apparently this guy was a jerk, yup APPARENTLY, like it wasnt obvious enough since i first laid my eyes on him. He was full of the manly ego, what was i thinking, liking a self-centred person, oh hang on, thats why, I WASNT THINKING!sheeshy kebabs! so back to the mushy story. I constantly thought about him, forgot all my priorities, and really basically started drooling everytime i saw his arm past. yup, nowadays, with modern technology and all, u dont need to see the person as a whole, u just see his fingernails, and ur gone. WOW. DRAMATIC may i say. but very true.

Without the help of my wonderful God, who never leaves me, and many beautiful friends, (cant say i got any help from mum and dad, if they found out, i think i would have been digging my grave, getting into it myself, and covering the hole up myself), my whole life at that period of time could qualify as the worst soap opera that ever existed. Thank goodness, some sense knocked on my brain door, and said, hi, can i come in, ur so full of no sense, sort ur life out, forget this guy. I did. And im feeling so so so much better. Ur not tied to anything. Ur literally free i guess. U feel that sense of 'comfortable'ness. Its great!

Something to share : no one can avoid having feelings, its something that comes. Its how u handle it that matters. Dont fall for someone. Dont go head over heels in love. Dont ask urself so many dumb questions and worry too much. It doesnt give u back anything. Hang on, actually it does, it gives u the most wonderful and satisfying heartbreak. Unless ur willing to go through all that mess, then forget about giving up ur feelings to someone else. Love urself for a change. Pursue ur dreams, live happy, and avoid all these mishaps. Life is a long journey, and its better to leave all the extra, unwanted baggages, so ur journey can be a much lighter and easy one.

PS: Umm incase any of u are married or engaged, please dont leave ur husbands or fiances. Theyre probably ur soulmates. This post probably is best suited for teenagers and young adults.

"This is Me. Could I please speak with U?"

"Never let the sun go down upon your anger."

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. (That was meant to be sarcastic, not serious)
Heres how:
I was sitting at my desk wall angry and stressed.I took out my phone and dialled some random number..Teet teet, teet teet..A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Me. Could I please speak with U?". The man answered, " Im sorry im not U. I think u got the wrong number.Getting a little frustrated, I said " Of course this is U!How can you not be U?!". The man, beginning to sound slightly agitated said, "I think u woke up from the wrong side of bed today. U are acting like a complete nincompoop!". Having someone call u a nincompoop when u are in a state of complete frustration, anger, hatred and stress, is not really helping. So I said, "Im actually trying to make u angry."

I mean what is that? Telling someone u dont know that ur trying to make him angry. It sounds nuts! But I guess when ur angry, u do anything and everything without thinking. U become wierd. U feel alone. And u feel good when u make others angry. U want them to share ur pain.

"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get a life nincompoop!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .I kept his number. After a few days,I decided to call that guy who called me a nincompoop again. He made me sound like I was pigeons poop. Degraded me. I felt hurt. I felt challenged. I felt like life was not worth living. God, I can be so emotional! Anyways, when the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a nincompoop!" and hung up.I wrote his number down with the word 'nincompoop' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a nincompoop!" It always cheered me up.When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'nincompoop' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this is Me from a non-existent telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a nincompoop!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW(rich maniac) cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first nincompoop (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW nincompoop, too.I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 24, Taman Segah, Putrajaya. It's a yellow bangalow, and the car's parked right out in front."I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is , Amad" I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Amad?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Amad, can I tell you something?"He said, "Yes?"I said, "Amad, you're a nincompoop!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.Now, when I had a problem, I had two nincompoops to call.Then I came up with an idea. I called nincompoop #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're a nincompoop!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Amad." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Nincompoop, I live at 2, Taman Segah, Putrajaya, a yellow bangalow, I have a black BMW parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Amad. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, nincompoop," and hung up.Then I called Nincompoop #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, nincompoop," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, nincompoop, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately call the police, saying that I lived at 24, Taman Segah, Putrajaya, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Taman Segah Putrajaya.I quickly got into my car and headed over to Putrajaya. I got there just in time to watch two nincompoops beating the bush out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

This is the most bizzare and "dont try it at home" kind of anger management. I know that many of us let our anger out on other people. Be it those we love, or even those we don't know. The scenario shows two innocent men, getting into major trouble, because someone else was angry. Like the saying goes "A background of wrath, which can be stirred up the murderous internal pitch, does lie in every man. "

I have been angry for most times in my life. Its scary to think that I've been wasting most of my life by just being angry.

My reasons: People hurt me. I get angry
: People dont love me the way I want them to. I get angry
: I dont get what I want. I get angry

These are some of the many reasons on why we get angry. The next time you get angry dont throw it on somebody else. Solve it. Forgive the problem. Laugh at the problem. It sounds so hard. But when u do overcome anger. U think, Oh my God! I feel good!

Live life peacefully. Enjoy it. Love every moment of it. Most importantly, Forgive and forget.